Well guess what?!! In today's mail, my mother received and then opened a letter from her state retirement pension office letting her know that she is deceased.
Now mind you there were a few days this past month when she had the flu that she wanted to die or maybe felt like she was going to but let me assure you, she is still very much so this side o' the dirt!
The thing was, mother didn't even notice the deceased marking as it was at the header of the letter(she was reading the body of the letter), until I screeched when I saw it.
This could not have hit on a better day, you see for me "auntie flo" is in town, so I was immediately breathing fire! Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go immediately to fire breathing, white-hot, intense rage of ten thousand burning suns! Mother on the hand had to proceed to the bathroom sick at her stomach.
I grabbed the phone and called the offenders and was quickly lost in computer call system hell.
People, don't you know I am in NO mood to deal with this, finally, I reach a human. I explain our situation as calmly as possible, and she transfers me to the correct department.
This time, I reach someone named Sue, and I tell her our tale of woe. She expresses her horror at our plight. She quickly pulls up the information on the computer system and sees that the mistake has already been caught and rectified, and we should be receiving another letter shortly. She was very apologetic and nice.
You have to know that as the day went on, the madder I got, I just kept thinking about the "what if's". You know, mother got sick at her stomach and had to go to the bathroom, but what if her heart had not been stronger and she had gone into cardic arrest as a result? That is a distinct possibilty due to the fact that she does have heart issues and has had open heart surgery as well as arithymia difficulties in the past.
I am waiting for the other shoe to drop. As in when I go to pick up a prescription for her that her insurance has been cancelled because she is deceased. You know how these things work, one little computer mess up creates a whole domino effect of trouble.
I really am trying to remain calm about this. I REALLY, REALLY AM!! Maybe if I say it enough times I will be able to do it!! If you are a prayerful person-please pray that I don't have a stroke over this. Thanks!
~~Heather
*Writer Dorthy Parker would often answer the phone with "What fresh hell is this?"
Somehow I find it fitting for today's episode
YOU HAVE HEARD OF STUCK ON STUPID, TRY BEING STUCK ON LUNATIC!
SOMETIMES FUNNY, SOMETIMES SAD, BUT MOSTLY A CRAZY RIDE!
7 comments:
She wouldn't have to sweat April 15 though!
Ha, DH. I try to remember that State employees are often grossly underpaid and have antiquated equipment and programs, ask Black Betty!
BUT, I would be mad too. I was mad when AARP started sending me stuff and got mad when I tried to sign up for the discounts.
Was it Twain who wrote: "The news of my death has been greatly exaggerated."
Tip: Whenever you get an automated answering service, dial the pound key over and over until a warm body picks up the phone. If the pound key doesn't work, try zero. That will save you lots of time and headache.
Best of luck to y'all. Hope this glitch doesn't cause any long-term damage. ..
"Officer, you can't arrest me; I'm dead."
Wow. That's insane. I hope it doesn't cause any more hassles for you than it already has.
Wowzers. That's pretty harsh stuff!
I know this is awful, but the way you described it was great. "This side o' the dirt"-- hilarious!
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