Suicide & Robin Williams

As someone who grew up in a household that was in a perpetual state of shock from my uncle's suicide, I am heartbroken for Robin Williams' family.
I am angry that someone so incredibly talented couldn't find the hope to stay alive.
I am angry that he didn't seek help!
When my poor uncle Junior took his own life it was 1972, there was no Paxil, or Prozac or any of the new wonderful medications.  Why in the HELL didn't someone get Robin Williams some help?
He was so amazingly funny.  There was an interview several years ago with him and Jonathan Winters and they just riffed off of each other.  It was so screamingly funny.  But if you know anything about Jonathan Winters he suffered with depression as well.
Damn it people, the new medications don't turn you into a drooling zombie the way earlier generations of medications did.  There is better living through chemistry!
PLEASE if you know of anyone, or you yourself are contemplating suicide, GET HELP!! CALL 1-800-SUICIDE.  Go volunteer, but do something, anything but take your own life.  God loves, you just have to accept him into your heart.

About tonight's Modern Family

Have you seen all of the fuss about tonight's episode of Modern Family? 
Can I just say that's insanely stupid?! I mean honestly, I don't care how good of a Christian or parent you are, your kids are ALWAYS going to say something that will embarrass you!
Just read Joann's comment on my last post about her little girl saying "duck" only she couldn't say D and said it with an F.
When my Paddycake was just wee toddler, I dropped something on my foot and out came "Sonofa", leaving off the last part because he was learning to talk and I was trying to watch my language. Well from behind me up piped a small "Bitch", finishing the sentiment for me.  It was all I could do not to bust out laughing.  
That's just the way kids are! Tonight's Modern Family is just a reflection of something that has happened in every household in America if they would only be honest and laugh about it!  From what I've read the little girl's mouth will be pixelized and the offensive word bleeped.  And it's not like this show is aired in the family hour of 8 P.M.  Get over yourself and move on. 

If it's Thursday it must be Meow Meow!

So my precious baby girl is 20 months old.  She is just as feisty as her mama, maybe a little bit more so due to the whole sibling rivalry thing.   You would think since there is such a large gap in ages that there wouldn't be but kids it's there and awful!! If Paddycake gets near me to hug me when she is sitting on my lap she will push him away or kick him away.  She's so little and sweet looking but she is hell on wheels.  Most days I have a really hard time not laughing out loud at her antics.  She has been a lifesaver for me from the bleakness of last year. 
So anyhoo, she's talking now.  We don't understand a lot of what she says but she states it with such firm conviction that we have no choice but to agree with her cute little self. 
She quickly learned to address the felines of the house as Meow Meow's. 
But now EVERYTHING and I do mean EVERYTHING is a Meow Meow. 
Granny & Papaw got her a rocking horse for Christmas.  She stood in front of it and yelled "MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW!"  
I gently told her "Baby girl, it's a horsey." 
"MEOW MEOW"
"No sweetie, it's a horse.  The horse says 'neigh neigh'", at this time, I feel myself becoming a See N' Say. 
She hugged the horse and said "Meow meow". 

I decided I wasn't going to win that argument, and she distracted herself with something else. 

To date here is a partial list of the things she is calling Meow Meow:
 Z-magnet with a picture of a zebra
 Bobble head Santa
 Rubber Duckie
 Dallas the Border Collie

This list is only partial because I'm slowly losing what teensy little shred of sanity I have left.  She's such a precious gift, I just hope this phase doesn't last too long and we can get her to learn a new word.
;-)

2011-you've nearly killed me and I'm glad you're over!

In summary-

Dame Elizabeth died. 
Her birthday was the day after my mom's and we loved her from afar.  She was our icon, our ideal.
The clothes, the jewels, the men, those violet eyes-she was one of a kind and we will never see her likes again(no matter how hard Kim Kardashian or Victoria Beckham try.)

My mama died.

My husband got news that the company he works for is closing so he will be losing his job.  He's worked for the same company for 18 years.  We live in a very depressed area of Appalachia, so good jobs are few and far between.  I just keep praying that G-d will bring us something better.  I know he will, but the waiting is hard.  I worry for the town/county where the factory is located, it was part of the reason they were even able to build a hospital.  

My hair stylist showed up for an appointment so drunk he had pissed himself, so that was the end of that relationship.  I believe this happened so that I could truly appreciate what life with my drunkard bio dad would have been like, and I was able to tell my mama how much I loved her, valued her sacrifice, and appreciated her before she died.  And I still haven't found anyone to cut my hair to my satisfaction. 

Roger the cat died, and even though I never met him in person, I loved him from afar.  His squirrel killing skills were a joy to read.

My mama died and broke my heart..............

I thank G-d every day that I had her, but I miss her so much. 

2011 you almost broke me, but I'm still here.    2012 BRING IT!!

Well, I got an email from our favorite place at the beach.  They are offering a wonderful price for next week.  So being the cheapskate thrifty and frugal mom that I am I discussed it with hubby and we decided book it. 
Now it's been a good ten years since we have been to the beach.  You see with my fibromyalgia I hate to travel.  I am happiest and most comfortable at home. 
However, this past year has been trying.  Baby Penelope had to have four surgeries and she and I had to stay at the hospital in Lexington for what seemed like for ever, in reality it was probably four weeks and then three weeks.  Still not fun. 
Then my mom being sick and having to stay with her at various hospitals and make various doctor appointments.  Then she died and that in and of itself has been pretty devastating. 
The point being kiddies, is Mama Lunatic is burnt out.  Toddles is pretty burned out too, but not for the same reasons.  And the children have never seen the beach. 
So after I booked our reservations and everyone was gone to bed, I was channel surfing, and what should I come upon but BEDBUG APOCALYPSE. 
Dear HOLY LORD! I MAY NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE AGAIN!!!! Remember on Frasier how Niles would always dust off a chair before sitting down? Well that's what the experts on Bedbug Apocalypse suggested doing.  The bedbugs can and will hop on your clothes while you are out running errands or eating out at a restaurant.  Oh the HORROR!!
And then, to make matters worse, I google and our place at the beach has had the bedbugs, however it was last year and they have just come through a summer season without any complaints.  So that did ease my mind somewhat. 
BUT then I opened my browser and Hurricane Irene is headed for the beach!
I just need to stay home!  I don't travel well at all!

Because we've clearly lost our minds!

We all just needed to wear Penelope's tiara and Hello Kitty sunglasses!

muddlin' through with eyes wide open

So it's been just a little over a month since my mom died.  I miss her all day, every day-I don't think that will ever change, but I have to hitch up my pants and try to carry on. 

Her death has proved to be pretty eye-opening for me.  Someone I loved like a brother has not contacted me to even say "kiss my foot" since.  And believe me I sent him the same emails that many of you got, so he's been notified.  I don't know why I'm being frozen out so to speak, but it hurts. 

My bio-dad didn't make the funeral even though I called to notify him.  He was out of town, but his crazy ass sister came to the funeral.  She makes me nuts.  I will write more about that later.
He has yet to call me to even say he's sorry she died, even though he has proclaimed on many occasions how she was his true love.  Such a self-centered ass. So I really don't feel like I was obligated to even acknowledge him for Father's Day.  So I didn't. 

An incident happened back in March before my mom got so sick, and it really opened my eyes to what living with a falling down drunk would have been like.  And I was able to tell my mom how much I loved her and how grateful I was for her strength to get us out of her bad marriage and away from my drunkard bio-dad.  I'm so grateful that the Lord showed that to me and I was able to tell her. 

Also my mom has relatives that she was quite close to and guess what-haven't heard a word from them.   Again-they got the same emails and facebook notices-nothing. 

Which brings me to Facebook.  I play Mafia Wars on there and belong to several war family's that put me in touch with people from around the world that I've never met in person.  Would you believe that I have condolence messages from those people but not some of my friends and family? 

So there it is.  I'm still here.  God Bless you all!

For the first 18 years she was my mama.  A firm hand, tireless champion, complete supporter. 
For the past 22 years she has been my best friend.  I miss her more than I can even comprehend.

Mom's obituary

She's gone

Mom crashed at 5:55pm. They were able to revive and get a heartbeat but she is not responsive, so I have asked them to turn off the machines.


Please pray for my little boy Paddy, he loved his Pen so much and he is heartbroken.

Mom

Got a call from the hospital at 4:30 this morning that mom was not doing well and I probably should come to the hospital.
She has now stabilized, they are moving her to the CCU and she will be on a ventilator.
Please pray for this edema to be driven from her body and her lungs to clear up.
She is the heart of our family and we love her so much.
Love & God Bless,
Heather

Mom Update & Prayer Request

Mom came through her surgery beautifully and the new stents are finally allowing her kidneys to heal. Her BUN(blood urea nitrogen) level has come down four points to 40 and her creatnine level is down to 3.04. She still has the terrible edema, so hopefully(prayerfully) if her kidneys recover to their normal, they can add back the diuretics for the mild congestive heart failure.
The UTI infection is causing her to have some moments of confusion.
I know that the Lord is working and is hearing your prayers.

Please keep praying that infection and edema are driven from her body.

Thank you & God Bless,

Heather Page

Mom Update & Prayer Request

Mom has to have stent replacement surgery later this morning(don't have a set time yet, hospital will be calling me). She had both stents replaced in March, but the left one has gotten blocked and is causing the left kidney to be swollen.  Hopefully this will help her kidneys to heal.
Please keep her in your prayers for a successful procedure and recovery.


Thank you & God Bless,

Heather Page

Mom's doctor just left. He listened to her lungs and they are still clear. The fluid(edema) is staying in the tissue in her arms and her torso area-this is better than it being in her lungs. We are still in the new ER observation room, because they have no regular rooms available. At least it's private, pretty quiet and still new enough to be very nice(as hospital rooms go).


With her kidney failure they can't give her lasix or any other diuretics because they can worsen the kidney failure.

Please pray that her kidneys recover back to their normal state, and that they are able to drive this fluid(edema) from her body.

Thank you so much for your prayers.

God Bless!

Heather Page

Mom prayer request

Mom's edema has been worsening and the home health nurse just called her doctor and they want her taken to the ER.


So please keep us in your prayers.

Please ask that her kidney function returns to normal to remove this fluid from her body.

Also please ask that she is protected from the nephrologists at our local hospital(we have serious doubts about his competency and motives).

Because her mobility is limited I can't get her to her regular nephrologist in Lexington, so it has to be our local hospital(Ky law dictates that ambulance has to take to closest hosp).

Thank you all. God Bless.

Heather Page