I'm trying so hard to be

Optimistic.
I thank you one and all for your prayers. You will never realize what a blessing you are to me by lifting her up in prayer. I truly mean that. I wish I could give each of you a hug.
I know, that ultimately Mom's survival is in God's hands.
But every single time some doctor or nurse says the word cancer, I feel like I have been hit in the face with hot water or punched in the gut. It causes a physical reaction in me and I have to fight back tears.
My mama has lived through so much in her life, so many struggles. She really is my hero. She escaped an abusive marriage, to give me a better life. She loved me and kept me safe. She put up with so much crap to keep her job, so she could support me.
I know the hurt that I felt when I lost my grandmother when I was six. We lived with my grandparents, the hurt was big. My heart aches when I think that my Paddycake might have to experience this. He loves his "Pen" so much. He greets her every morning with a smile and kiss and "Hi there Pen." Please Lord don't break his little heart.