Sad day

I know I haven't posted in a long time. I really haven't had anything to say-especially since no one reads this anyway.
Several years ago someone dumped a stray female cat on me. She was ferrel and I never could catch her, I don't know what happened to her but she left me several generations of cats. I did the best I could to catch and tame the kittens and get them altered and placed. One of her kittens would not be caught and of course it was a female and to beat it all she was black. I even purchased a humane trap and she would avoid the damn thing!
One of her kittens was a black female who like her mother would not be caught, and she had a litter two weeks ago. They were the prettiest little babies, and this morning we found one of them dead in the box where she was staying. I removed the baby, and tried to get her back in the box so the babies could eat. She still wouldn't have anything to do with them. This evening I was able to catch her and grab the surviving babies and got them to the vet. The babies were sick and she was in a great deal of stress. I should have known that something was very wrong with the mother for me to even be able to catch her.
I had to make to heartbreaking decision to put them all to sleep. I told her to go to the bridge where she wouldn't be sick or scared or pregnant ever again. She was so pitiful, she really was so young and didn't even know what was going on with the kittens. I rubbed her ears and tried to comfort her. I really needed the comforting myself.
People who abandon animals really suck and should have to hold a sick one as it is being put to sleep. I am just heart sick.